[Neonx]

I have a very long situation to describe...

I feel I don't have much memory of the week or so, but some things to stand out.

I don't know where everything "started" and that's what I'm helping to learn here. I don't know what information can help determin what was wrong or what happened, but I can try to explain everything.

Apparently I uttered a few phrases or words that I don't remember saying, and I made bad decisions, and not sure why I made them.

One Sunday morning I woke up with a big grasp of air, and I felt like I was still dreaming. I had to go to work at 12, but the first thing on my mind was the smell of someone cooking, and every little sound they made. I could almost literally taste the food being cooked, and something was akward about the sounds. I went to brush my teeth before leaving, and ended up locking myself in the bathroom for 40 minutes because I was unsure of what to do. I brushed my teeth 2 times, and for some reason I felt scared to leave. I felt something bad was going to happen at work. The people in my house almost had to unskrew the doorknob until I finally snapped to my senses and came out, and rushed to work late.

Work was an odd experience. I felt I could not do anything that I normally knew how to do. I felt it was a completely different day, in a whole other life. Weird...I know. Technology didn't seem to agree with what I was doing. Computers were freezing as soon as I tried to use them, etc etc. I felt kind of scared listening to the radio. I don't remember what I felt, but for some reason when I heard someone singing or talking, I didn't want to listen to it because I felt something negative. (That's a memory that I feel is kind of lost now.)
I drove home from work, and took a shower in one of the bathrooms. When I got out I felt rather cold. I proceeded to take a bath in the other bathroom, lit candles and wanted to fall asleep in the warm water. My family knew something was wrong because I do not normally do things that way, or in that manner.

My father sat with me in the living room, and this conversation is only a blur. He basically asked me if I was ok, and I don't remember answering correctly. I don't know why But I believe I said no. When he asked if I wanted to talk to someone, I said yes. They took me to the hospital, and I felt like nothing was wrong. I just don't belive I was making decisions for myself. When we got to the hospital I believe it was around 1am or so..? When the nurse asked my name, I froze with my mouth open. I KNEW my name, but I felt the world was one step ahead of me, and everyone was answering for me. I couldn't explain what was wrong, and they just took me to a room and drew some blood.

At that point I remember I didn't know what was going on. I felt I could understand the spanish signs on the walls (which I'm not 100% sure NOW if I was right..) They did not find anything wrong with me according to the blood tests. They gave me water that did not "taste" like water, and the sandwich felt raw almost. Either way, I don't recall talking much, but at the last second, I remember being walked down to the doors, and then Away from my family, into a white van with another patient dressed in hospital clothes, and drivin' to a local behavioural hospital called Lakeside.

That's where it got worse. I couldn't help what I felt. I didn't know how to explain why I was there, but it seemed to get worse, even when I wasn't saying much.

The deep down feeling I got, felt like I was 'in a movie.' Everyone seemed to be paying attention to me or what I was doing, and NOT DOING for that matter. When I had to eat, the other patients made me go first..they almost singled me out, and it was weird. When I went into one of the bathrooms I saw scratches on the mirror, and got scared and left..never going back into that bathroom. When the news was on, I felt a negative energy throughout the large room where everyone was 'kept'. Nothing made sense, and for some reason I didn't want to sleep, I wanted to cry.

At one incodent, I was sitting at a table watching some guys playing cards, and one of them was holding a magazine reading it. He slid it toward me and started into my eyes but pointed at the page at a spiral. I asked "what?" and he just pointed. Never said anything, and it just made me more confused.

It took 4 days to get out of there. I got to talk to the doctor twice, and he first asked me name, and I was still speechless. I don't know what I went through or what happened, but they gave me some pills that they also give to people with skytsophrenia (sp) to calm my mind down.
After I got home I continued to take them, and I still remember being too hot or too cold when it was fine to other people. I got scared of some of the things on tv, because it related directly to what was happeneing in life, of me and those around me. It led me to believe that we are all in control of what happens around us, but this feeling also took away a week of my life....Has anyone felt this before?

A few key things. I remember something about the alphabet. For some reason I felt like there was a 'key' or something to 'figure out', and I kept getting close, but for some reason I got scared of what I was doing, and I threw everything away. I had papers and stuff filled with information of [what I don't remember] and I threw it away because I was scared of what people would thing. I thought they might see it as weird or crazy. But internally I don't feel that because it meant something at that point in time. [I wish I saved it to maybe help me figure it out.] In the MIDDLE of some of this happening, I took a warm bath, then stood up to shower off, and I fainted. My boyfriend was in the bathroom and he noticed automatically and picked me up etc. I was showering again and fainted for a second time. Then when I got out, I was drying off and I fainted a third time. I woke up laying on the floor as he picked me up, and that was the last time that happened. When I was trying to go to sleep at one point, I felt fearful of sleep. For some reason everyone else fell asleep instantly those few nights, when I'm usually first to pass out. I cried myself to sleep silently. Colors were also a point of my interest, as when I was in the hospital the colors would stand out, and had a different meaning. If I focused my 'attention' on a color, things would change in relation to it. For a few seconds when I looked at a box, I remember not being able to read what it said, and all the writing stood out, and I had a sense of fear as well.

Sorry this might be jumbled, but I feel it's hard to describe a month of my life, that I don't know how to explain. I don't expect anyone else to understand but I would like SOME response. It's something that is in the back of my mind...

[Pike707]

I am not sure of what "condition" you may have had. This experience sounds similar to what one has with acute mental illnesses such as schizophrenia or what a person experiences during the aura portion of a seizure. Personally I would suggest you get a complete physioligical examination as well as a psycholigical examination to be sure that there is not an underlying condition that may cause either a recurrance or worse. Preferably include a CAT, PET and MRI scan. Lesions on the brain can cause extremely strange experiences that are undefinable to others.